Have you ever noticed that people will often stay in the most horrific or ridiculous situations, be it a relationship or a job, just because the fear of the unknown in making a change seems over whelming? I’ve never liked that saying “The devil you know is better than a devil you don’t.” Talk about a limiting belief that will keep you playing small in life. This is full on proof that there is comfort in what we know, even when it totally sucks and we are unhappy. Human nature is to find routine, so it can be counter-intuitive to purposely bring change upon ourselves. I see so many people live their lives in boxes of familiarity. I use the term “boxes” because there can be no expansion in a box. There is also no way to expand without discomfort. So, what’s so bad about being uncomfortable? Why have we made it something to avoid?
Brene’ Brown was the first Keynote at Emerging Women Live. She focused on the simple fact that there is NOTHING COMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING BRAVE. Being brave in our life takes a willingness to be uncomfortable, to move, expand, and grow our lives, relationships, and business to new levels that ultimately leave us feeling satisfied, fulfilled, and beaming with delight with our accomplishments. You can’t get to joy without taking a risk or moving into unfamiliar territory. Yeah, maybe it will be scary, but so what? The rewards can be immense. One thing I know for sure, confidence doesn’t grow by staying in your comfort zone. Maybe the feelings of fear are just a sure sign that you are relying on your own strength, instead of putting your trust in something greater.
I have wondered if the reason people will finally make a change is because they get tired of the pain or tired of being afraid.
Women tend to engineer their lives and careers to stay small and play under the radar. This comes from a fear of being criticized, because we are so focused on always having to be perfect, so if we stay small, less likely to attract criticism and easier to attempt perfection.
For me, this fear of being criticized, has always shown up in something physical or athletic, not in my career. I don’t like not being good at something in fear someone will think of me. It triggers that old familiar voice within that says “I am not good enough”. This happened as a child attempting a cartwheel and today it can get triggered playing golf. Yes, silly I know, especially now that I have actually typed it out. What I have noticed is most women avoid putting themselves in the arena for fear of disapproval. This is something that needs big attention in all women’s circles, we all need to be encouraging each other to GO FOR IT, and support each other when we fall.
The biggest criticism a woman usually fears is around her looks and body image. It’s not hard to see why, everything around us tells us we are less than, unless we are a size 4, fit, sexy, and stylish!
Courage, the simple act of being brave and letting the discomfort just be a normal reaction when expanding our lives. Learn to find comfort in discomfort, in other words, normalize discomfort as the key to breaking boundaries in our lives to play at new levels.
Daily Exercise: Give yourself permission for one thing every day that you don’t have to be perfect at doing and will give it a go anyway.
“Be you, be all in, Stand up, Get your ass kicked, Stand up and do it again!” – Brene’ Brown
Where are you willing to be uncomfortable and demonstrate bravery to manifest more of what you really want in life, to play big? I know it’s in you, just waiting to emerge!
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